We need to talk about imposter syndrome and how it’s hurting women

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We need to talk about imposter syndrome and how it’s hurting women

Around the studio I have heard women say this about themselves, that they are suffering from imposter syndrome, and I just held a women’s panel event for my corporate job and heard this again. So, let me define it in layman’s terms. Imposter syndrome is when you feel like a “fraud.” When you doubt yourself and you think you’re incompetent for the task at hand and are scared that you will be exposed as a fraud. Well, guess what, men don’t usually feel this way.

On the panel, many men never even heard of this phrase…so why are we carrying this around as if it’s a badge of honor? I think we should just eliminate this phrase from our vocabulary. Feeling unsure doesn’t make you an imposter. Discomfort sometimes occurs. It’s friggen’ normal! Men usually don’t experience this because they continue to receive validation throughout their career in the workplace. Well, F* that. Let me give you some validation. You are deserving, you are intelligent, you are beautiful, you are sexy as hell! I had a very deep conversation about being sexy and feeling sexy in my intro to pole dance series last night, and one of the ladies in class said that they just don’t feel and look as sexy as everyone else…everyday we are told what “sexy” is supposed to look like. And to that, I say GARBAGE. Pole dance really teaches you how to have a conversation with your body, as our body and mind are connected. Once your body starts to repeat these movements, your mind will start to evolve and you will feel and think you are sexy too, no matter what the media tells you what sexy is supposed to look like. It won’t happen over night…but it’ll happen. If you can’t join us for a class just let, start to say some positive affirmations. Start your day with them. Repeat the ones I said above and swap out “you,” with “I.”

Here are some tips to overcome imposter syndrome:

  1. Speaking out loud, daily affirmations. Saying them in the mirror: I am deserving. I am beautiful. I am intelligent. I am sexy. I am accomplished. I am capable. I am loved.

*C’mon! Say ‘em with me now! Even if you don’t believe them just yet.

  1. Make a brag file. At one point or another, someone may have given you a compliment. Whether it be your friend, or a boss that said, you did a good job on this assignment, you handle X well, you look pretty today… WRITE THAT SHIT DOWN. SAVE THOSE EMAILS. Make a brag file…yes, I am serious! When you start to experience self-doubt or discomfort, open up your brag file, and remember who the F* you are.
  1. Take a pole dance class. Challenge yourself. Do something that takes you out of your comfort zone. Imposter syndrome arises when you don’t accept your accomplishments. You are deserving, but continuing to challenge yourself physically is just as important. It’s great that you are doing all the mindset work, but, don’t forget about the largest part of you…your body!  Getting strong in your mind is equally as important as getting strong in your body too. These two things are connected.

I hope you will try some of my tips, and I also hope you will join us at the next intro to pole series or my next confidence workshop! If you want to hear about updated info, also follow us on IG: @dreamdancefitness!